Suggested Readings: Psalm 79; Micah 5:1-5a; Luke 21:34-38
“My love is my weight.” The 5th century sinner and theologian Saint Augustine invites you with these eloquent words to examine your loves and desires, not only in the intimate folds of your heart, but in the time you have given to others and to things: in what you have purchased, in the attention and affections you have sought, and in the hopes and resentments you have nursed. Augustine offers us not so much a metaphor as a measure for life. So, take a moment to make a list of the places and persons you have visited yesterday, today, or this week, the activities and efforts you have undertaken. What desires led you to these people, places, and activities? What loves were you seeking to satisfy?
The Christian season of Advent invites us not only to examine our hearts, but also to let ourselves be judged by our desires, loves, and hopes, as these become manifest in our lives. Judged by whom and by what standard? Let us begin by acknowledging that when it comes to judging ourselves, we do a very poor job. Some of us will forgive ourselves all manner of excess, indifference, and addiction, while others of us will judge ourselves into chronic self-loathing.
In today’s Psalm, we hear the cries and pleas of a trauma victim. They have walked among the murdered bodies of their neighbors and friends in the street. They have seen and heard blood that cries out of the ground and reaches the ears of God, the blood of those who were favored by God, the blood of Abel. History never repeats itself, but the myth of Abel touches the earth all too often in the latest mass shooting, terrorist attack, or counter-offensive. I weep! I cry out! The Psalm gives me permission to call on the Lord to visit wrath and mercy upon us and upon them. But let the Lord be the judge, the one who forgives! Micah and Luke offer us two ways to wait, listen, and watch for the judgment and mercy of God. We can wait in the way fathers and families watch for a mother to give birth to a newborn, a child and ruler that will bring hope and peace (Micah). Or, consumed by our anxieties and the concerns we satisfy with excess (Luke), we can forget to watch the horizon. Advent is a sobering season, a time to watch and wait for the judgment and mercy the Lord will bring.
Manuel Cruz
